try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
