You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you would pick up someone in the library
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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