dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
