btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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