What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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