"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
