if you like me you must not know who I am
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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