I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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