I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
A+ Viking dick
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
