So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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