): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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