I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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