shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
