Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
