.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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