Just fell off a train. Bad.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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