She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
