you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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