She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
