Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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