I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
