people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
