that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
