I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
