Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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