ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
