Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
