just come out here and I will go home with you...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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