I wish I could punch you in the face.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
