Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
