I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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