what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
