He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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