Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
