he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
