i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
