i just google imaged poop.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
