Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize