Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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