yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
