I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
