I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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