Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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