hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
