i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
