We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
