It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
