I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
