Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
