Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
