No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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