how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
