No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
