Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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