We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And then he peed in my hair
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