Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
