why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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