im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize