there was a trapeze. enough said
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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