she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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