So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
