just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
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in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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