Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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