I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
